just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
