Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
