She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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