Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
