I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
