I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
