dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
