I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
