I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
