My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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