You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
