It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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