Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
