we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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