It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
