I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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