Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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