Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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