Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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