I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
