Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
