Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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