Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
