I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
