i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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