that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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