love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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