yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
