Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
