she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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