i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
