I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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