We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
