its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
