bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
