i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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