I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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