you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
