P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
