You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
