I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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