Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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