At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is Oprah even human
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
