Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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