Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
