I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
