Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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