the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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