i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
