the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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