i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
