the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
