is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
