at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
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