Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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