she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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