and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
