Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
