There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
