All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
