I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
