Duck Duck Cougar?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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