Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize