this just has baby written all over it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We are two peas in an std pod
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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